Missing Our Little Peach

Ava

2009-10-14T19:53:00.002-04:00

Just wanted to let you all know that I finally updated our family blog. Here is the address: http://findingtheblessingsinlife.blogspot.com/

Ava's Arrival

2009-10-12T21:56:00.002-04:00

Thank you all for the well wishes. Ava Grace is the sweetest!

As promised, here is the story of her arrival. I went in on Oct 1st at 10 pm to be induced. The plan was for me to sleep until 4 am and then the doctor would break my water and start the pitocin. However, at around 2:30 am, I started having contractions on my own. The doctor came and broke my water and we started the pitocin as planned. I had an epidural late afternoon and labor seemed to be moving along. We started noticing that at each contraction, Ava's heartbeat would go down. At first this was not concerning as it was only in the beginning of the contraction. At around 7 pm, her heart rate started going down for the whole contraction. I was also stalled at 7 cm. The nurse stopped the pitocin and gave me an oxygen mask. Ava settled. The doctor came and discovered that Ava was presenting with the side of her head. Although, she wasn't feet first, she was still angled to one side. We were given the option of a c-section. The doctor said we could continue the trial labor for awhile longer, but that he gave us a 30% change of delivering vaginally. By this point, we were concerned for Ava's well being and went ahead with the c-section. During the surgery, they had a hard time getting Ava out and tore my uterus a little which caused alot of blood loss. We were all surprised by how small she was. George took her to meet the family and I stayed behind to get stitched up. It was supposed to take 30-45 minutes, but ended up taking 1 1/2 hours. In the end, both Mommy and baby are doing well.

Introducing Miss Ava Grace

2009-10-08T15:34:00.003-04:00

Hi everyone. Sorry for the delay in the introduction of our little girl. This little one is quite hungry. Ava Grace arrived on October 2nd, 2009 at 9:19 pm after a c-section. She weighed 6 lbs 14 oz and was 20 inches long. Not quite the 8.5+ pounder predicted! I promise to update with the birth story soon! Hugs!

Georgia's Room

2009-09-26T13:35:00.002-04:00

I am finally in my last week of pregnancy. My due date is Thursday, but if the little miss doesn't arrive by Friday, we will be inducing Friday afternoon. My blood pressure has been a little crazy and Ava is said to be over 8 lbs at this point. At my 39 week appointment on Thursday, my blood pressure was high, so they sent me over to L & D for a NST and blood work for the second week in a row. Normally, they hook you up in triage, but the it was full so they decided to put me in a room. Just so happens that room was the same room that Georgia was born and where we last seen her. I have thought in the past that there would be a chance that her room would be the only room available when it is time for Ava to arrive and how I would feel about that. It was definitely strange to be in her room again, but it wasn't as painfull as I would have thought. It would be nice if they shared the same delivery room, but I worry how the emotions and hormones may affect me. I guess time will tell how it will work out... either way I know my angel will be watching over us.

38 weeks

2009-09-16T21:04:00.002-04:00

Gosh... it has been awhile since I have posted. The fall semester started last month, and I have been trying to get ahead in all of my school work in preparation for Ava's arrival. I am always good about checking everyone else's blog, but always seem to save updating my own for another day. Alot of the reason is that I feel guilty writing about Ava's impending arrival and how excited we are on Georgia's blog. It just doesn't seem right. I feel guilty that I am moving ahead and past alot of the pain. Don't get me wrong, we think and talk about her all the time, but the pain has dulled with all of the excitement. This has led me to start another blog and to keep this blog Georgia's. I have not yet posted on the new blog. When I do, I will put up the link and you are all welcome to join us there as well.

My due date is two weeks from tomorrow. Ava's bags are packed. I am bringing Georgia's blanket for her to use while in the hospital. I still need to pack my bags. As of my appointment last week, I was 50% effaced and one cm dilated. Not much, but at least it is something right? Progress... everyday is just about progressing forward.

One Year...

2009-08-11T17:49:00.004-04:00

I cannot believe it has been one year since we last laid eyes on our little Georgia Louise. In some ways, it seems like yesterday, in others like it has been longer. Not a day goes by that we don't think of her and wish that she was here with us. We wonder what she would be like and how our lives would be different had she not died. We are super excited for little Ava Grace's arrival, but often feel guilty for being too happy; like we are doing Georgia an injustice. We know that she is watching over her little sister and would want her parents to be happy. We are planning to do a balloon release this evening to honor her memory.Georgia,

We love and miss you very much. We will never forget you and you will forever be our firstborn. Please watch over your sister for us.

Until we meet again,

Mommy and Daddy xoxo

Thank you!

2009-08-07T20:25:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to thank everyone for all of your sweet and supportive words. They meant alot to me and have made me feel much better. It always helps to know that you are not alone in how you are feeling. Thank you!!!

32 weeks and worrying

2009-08-06T20:36:00.003-04:00

I realized this week that I have been pregnant longer with Ava than I was with Georgia. I have been thinking alot about her, especially since her heavenly birthday is next Tuesday, August 11th. I miss her, even though I know she is with me all the time. I know she is watching over her little sister, her father, and I. This fact doesn't make her being gone any easier. It is just not fair.

All of this thinking has gotten me really worried that something is going to go wrong with this pregnancy. We know that Ava does not have Triploidy or any other genetic diseases, but this doesn't mean we are out of the woods. There are things that can go wrong, like a cord accident, and I just can't imagine having come this far to have another baby taken from me. I have even been worried about Swine Flu. I know I need to relax, this is what is best for the both of us. I just wish I could guarantee that she will arrive safely. I really hope the next 8 or so weeks will go quickly and that she will arrive safely. I know that will just be the beginning as I will then worry about SIDS ect.

I would love to be naive again...

Where does the time go....

2009-07-25T14:54:00.010-04:00

Gosh... where does the time go? We have been incredibly busy, both with life in general and preparing for our little girl's arrival. I have also been thinking alot about Georgia lately. I can't believe in less than a month it will be one year since we last seen our precious angel. Sometimes, I feel guilty that I have been focusing on our impending arrival lately. However, throughout the entire journey with finding out Georgia was sick and her birth, we have really made every effort to make the experience as positive and memorable as possible. We know and appreciate how incredibly blessed we have been to have had her in our lives and we want to have good memories of her. It's really hard sometimes, but we know it is what she would want for her parents.

We had our shower last weekend. It was so much fun. My sister planned everything from New Jersey for the shower here in Florida. I am so lucky to have such a fabulous sister. She is a true blessing. We received so many wonderful gifts and had an awesome time with family and friends.

As a surprise, before my sister headed back to NJ, we went and had a 3D ultrasound...

Although, I am haven't been updating... I have been reading. I am so thrilled for all of the good news I have been reading in the blog world. Each of you are in my thoughts and prayers each day.

Hugs

Jessica

A Much Needed Update

2009-05-31T21:06:00.004-04:00

I received a sweet message today from a fellow blogger checking in on me... Thanks Hilary! I hadn't realized how long it has been since I have written. I do log in daily and read all of your updates, but have not written one of my own. I hope I haven't had you all worrying too much! I guess sometimes no news is good news!

Things are going quite well. We had a follow up MFM appointment and our regular OB appointment this past Thursday. On Thursday, I was 22 weeks exactly. Miss Babylou is measuring exactly to the date 22 weeks. She also weighed exactly 1 lb. It is so strange, when I delivered Georgia at 32 weeks late last summer, her birth weight was 1 lb 1/8 oz. Babylou will surpass her big sisters weight very shortly. While I am thrilled to pieces that she is well and thriving, I can't help but be terribly sad that her big sister didn't have the same opportunity. Babylou looks to be incredibly healthy, sooooooo we do not have to go back to the specialist at all! Praise God!!!

Other than alternating between feeling so blessed that our little girl is doing so well and missing her sweet sister, I have been enjoying my time off from school, doing a little cooking, and making some nursery decisions!

I think it may be time for a bigger apron... what do you think???

Here is a picture of our nursery bedding. Once the fabric swatches come in this week, we will be choosing paint colors. I kind of want to use one of the accent colors from the fabric, instead of the standard pink. If you enlarge the pic, there is a nice blue. Which would you choose?

Hubby is calling that the game is back on... I am off to cheer the Penguins to a Stanley Cup victory. Lets go Pens!

Hugs,

Jessica

This and That

2009-04-30T20:49:00.002-04:00

I have been waiting for my darling husband to scan the sonogram pictures to do another post. I cannot get the scanner to work from my pc. Unfortunately, he is an IT professional and it has been a disastrous week with lots of working from home. So I have not bothered him and decided to post without pics again.

A few of you have questioned the name possibilities now that we know that little Babylou is in fact a PrincessLou. During my pregnancy with Georgia, we had chosen the name Eva Grace. Once of my favorite names has always been Ava. My MIL's name is Eva, so we thought a little compromise would be okay. My mom's middle name is Grace. However, when we found out the baby was ill, we weren't sure how family members would feel about our naming her after them, so we decided to name her after us. We also wanted to give her a piece of ourselves. My husband is George, hence Georgia and my middle name is Louise. So now, we are trying to decide if Eva Grace will be the name. We also love Kaia Grace and Anastasia Kate. What are your thoughts?

I have been reading consumer reports on baby gear and working on my registry. I deleted the registry I created for Georgia wanting to start from scratch. I have also been agonizing myself (and my sister for that matter) over bedding. I found an awesome website that has beautiful custom bedding. Adorable. The problem is there are so many fabrics to choose from. I know I want something with pinks and chocolates, but there are so many! Super overwhelming. Do any of you know of any good bedding sites?

After reading a fellow bloggers posting today, I realized that maybe I am not taking this Swine Flu thing serious enough. I have pretty much upped my handwashing and decided I would go to the doctor immediately if I had ANY symptoms. It hasn't even worried me that there may be 3 cases here in Florida. This blogger was creating a stockpile of nonperishable food items. What, if anything, are you doing to prepare?

Lastly, I have been really thinking about Georgia alot. I often find myself comparing this pregnancy with my last one. I feel different about this pregnancy knowing the this little girl is healthy. I have just been feeling bad that I wasn't as happy during my pregnancy with Georgia. DH and I always made a point to make the best out of what were given because we wanted Georgia's short life, even in the womb, to be as joyous as possible. It was the only thing we could do as parents for her. We tried to maintain a happy environment. We love our first little angel so much and feel incredibly blessed that she is watching over Babylou and our family.

It's a....

2009-04-23T20:48:00.002-04:00

HEALTHY BABY GIRL! We are just beside ourselves with excitement. The ultrasound went beautifully today and little Babylou was cooperative for the most part. Her heart rate was 132 and she already weighs 6 ounces. We did discover that I have a low lying placenta, but that should correct itself as we are still early. I will post pictures soon, but I just wanted to share the fabulous news!

Big Oooops

2009-04-17T09:58:00.002-04:00

If any of you received a comment from a Katherine making reference to Georgia and Baby Lou, that was really me! I am visiting her in New Jersey and didn't realize she was logged into Google. Sorry :)

Fabulous

2009-04-15T20:35:00.003-04:00

You gals are fabulous. Every single one of you! Thank you for all the good wishes and for sharing in our excitement. The doctor called with our high risk appointment today, so we will be seeing the MFS next Thursday. Hopefully, all will go smoothly and we will find out if Babylou is a boy or a girl.

In the meantime, we are headed home to NJ/NY tomorrow. My husband is Greek so we celebrate my Easter and Greek Orthodox Easter which is this weekend. I am super excited to see my sister and her husband in NJ and then head to NY to visit with the in-laws! We will be returning Tuesday evening. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Results are in...

2009-04-14T21:03:00.002-04:00

The nurse called this morning with the results to the 2nd trimester AFP/Quad screen I had on Saturday. In our last pregnancy, we had a positive screen, which led to our Triploidy diagnosis. This time the results are NEGATIVE! Yes you read that right. Down Syndrome was 1:17,000. I believe a 1:270 is considered high. Trisomies was 1:2949 based on AFP test alone (in other words, without ultrasound). I believe a 1:100 is considered high risk. We are VERY encouraged by these awesome results. I think once the Level II/III ultrasound comes back clear, my nerves will be gone! Thank the Lord!

March for Babies

2009-04-11T19:52:00.001-04:00

Like many other mommy's here in blogland. We are also participating in the March of Dimes March for Babies walk on April 25th, 2009 to honor our daughter Georgia Louise. If you haven't donated already, please consider this worthwhile cause.

http://www.marchforbabies.org/jessilou23

Are you kidding me?

2009-04-10T21:20:00.002-04:00

As you know, I planned to get my blood drawn for the testing today. I got up 40 minutes early. I rushed to get ready. I drove like a crazy person to get to the lab with plenty of time to make it to work on time. As I walk up to the door, I notice a sign that says: "We are sorry for the long delays. We are very short staffed." ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I asked the front desk chic how long the wait was, and she said an hour plus. Well there was no way I could make it to work on time and I was not willing to get an occurence for being late, so I turned around and walked out. Ugh! I enjoy my sleep... this is no secret to anyone. Now tomorrow morning (my sleepy morning Saturday), I have to get my rear out of bed and drive 30+ minutes away to have my blood drawn. AND I have to wait one more day to get those results back. Don't get me wrong, it is all well worth it... but can I catch a break here?

Nervous

2009-04-09T21:14:00.002-04:00

I am so nervous. Tomorrow morning, before work, I am going to have my blood drawn for my quad screen. The results should be in sometime next week. I know this is a screen and not a diagnostic test, but this is the test that started the bad news with Georgia. I hope the results come back stellar and that the anxiety doesn't kill me this weekend.

Please Pray

2009-04-08T21:44:00.002-04:00

Please pray tonight for a co-worker of mine, L. She found out today that her daughter-in-law Sandy is expecting and has also been diagnosed with Lymphoma. Sandy also lost a baby last year. Please pray for God's comfort for this family as they struggle with this devastating news.

Time Flies

2009-04-04T19:14:00.008-04:00

Where has all of the time gone? My hopes of becoming a blogger who ummmm actually blogs are not going so well. I mean I read all of your blogs daily, but updating my blog, well that is a whole other story. I guess I am still confused about what to write. I am still trying to figure out if this is the place to post about our new baby or if this is a place for Georgia. I have just been in such a good place lately that I honestly cannot think of anything new to write about my sweet angel. I mean there is always the obvious about how I miss her so and worry daily that she will be forgotten, but nothing new that would be interesting to read. I feel guilty sometimes that I don't have more to say about the situation, but I just don't.

So today I decided that I would get on and post about my doctor appointment this week. I am 14 weeks today and feeling great. I had been looking forward to my appointment and visit with Dr. S. I just love my doctor and the time he takes with me when I go in. The day of my appointment, I got a call that he was out sick. He has never been out sick... ever. I was so bummed out mostly because I knew that he would definitely do another scan for me (he is a sucker for a pout), plus I had some questions. The nurse practitioner had agreed to stay late for my appointment, so I reluctantly agreed to see her. I am glad I did. Babylou's heartrate was at 148 bmp which is great. And she said "because your special, lets do a quick ultrasound"... yay! Baby is growing well and I got a fantastic picture that I will share at the bottom of the post. Next week, I can go do the AFP test and the results should be back in four days. When they call with the results, they will also schedule the MFS appointment. We are going home to NY for Orthodox Easter so we should be going as soon as we return. They will do the level 2 ultrasound and possibly an amnio. I am looking forward to finding out if the baby is boy or girl, but mostly if our little one is healthy. I think then I can really start to get excited.

Other than that, I am trying to get ahead and tie up my semester at school and relax. Oh yeah... and enjoy my pregnancy!!!!

Hugs!

Good News

2009-03-05T19:41:00.002-05:00

Yeah! We got some good news today. I went back for another scan at 10 weeks. I was last in the office exactly two weeks ago. Baby-lou has grow by 2 weeks and three days. Our little baby is ahead of schedule by 3 days. That is something we never seen with Georgia. The heartbeat was strong the baby was moving around alot. It felt so good to see that so far things are going well. Just another 25-30 weeks to go :)

Heartbeat

2009-02-24T19:53:00.002-05:00

Hey! Sorry I have not been better about checking in lately (not that I was ever that good at it). I have just been so exhausted lately and also busy with my classes. We had our 8 week appt last week. I had my second ultrasound and was thrilled to see a strong heartbeat. It simply took my breath away. I am going back next week (10 weeks) for another scan. I am so glad my doctor is being so good about the ultrasounds. Especially since I have read that growth restriction related to a triploidy diagnosis can begin as early as 10 weeks. I am just praying every day that this baby is healthy. I will feel so much better once the quad screen results come back and we have our level 2 ultrasound. I think I can actually breath then.

We decided to share the news last week with our immediate family and also my manager at work. Everyone is very excited and very supportive... my sister has taken to calling and asking how "her" baby is doing! LOL I felt I had to let my manager know earlier, rather than later, because of all my appointments and stuff. Plus it is so hard to hide at work when you are tired and have nausea all day. The nausea has been better the past week or so... which is a blessing.

This pregnancy is already so different from my last. I just feel different and I hope that is a good sign. I have really been thinking about my Georgia lately though. I just wish she were here with me and that I was watching her grow instead of hoping that my little bean is growing. I do feel much better knowing that this baby has a very special little sister watching over him/her.

I have been trying to decide if I should start a second blog for the new baby. This blog was intended to remember Georgia and chronicle our journey after loosing her. What do you all think? Should I continue with one blog or separate the two?

6 months

2009-02-11T20:19:00.003-05:00

Wow, it has been six months since I last laid eyes on my little angel. I wish I had something profound to say. Truthfully, I am not feeling very profound today. I'm just a mommy who is missing her daughter something fierce.

I will never forget you Georgia. Mommy and Daddy both love you with all of hearts. We know you are watching down on us and keeping an eye on your little brother or sister. We love you sweet angel.

1st Prenatal Appointment

2009-02-05T18:35:00.002-05:00

Hello all! I just though I would check in after my appointment. It was so nice... all the girls in the office were so excited for us. They were all so sweet and supportive when everything was happening with Georgia. George was unable to come with me because he had major oral surgery yesterday. Poor guy has been out of it ever since. They removed a cyst the size of a golf ball from his sinus cavity, along with two impacted teeth, and one molar destroyed from the cyst. Anyway back to my appointment, the doctor did an ultrasound to date the pregnancy. I am 6 weeks pregnant. I pretty much already knew that. I saw the yolk sac and I am supposed to go back each week until we register a heartbeat. I made my appointment for next week, but I am thinking I may call and reschedule. In my last pregnancy, we didn't see the heartbeat until closer to 8 weeks, so I would really rather wait the extra week so go back. I don't want to tell work quite yet and two doctors appointments in two weeks may look a little suspicious. We also discussed how we would handle this pregnancy. I will go back to the maternal fetal medicine specialist for the level 2 ultrasound. They did the amnio for Georgia and will look for any signs that might indicate we should have another amnio with this pregnancy. My OB reassured me there is no reason to be concerned about this pregnancy. Triploidy is simply a fluke occurrence. I will just be so glad when we are confident that this little one is healthy. Thank you all for your kind words and support, they mean the world to me!

Signs

2009-01-31T08:36:00.002-05:00

Thank you to everyone for all of your well wishes. They mean more to me then you could possibly know! I am really starting to get excited about this pregnancy.

When we found out Georgia had Triploidy at 20 weeks, the first thing I did was look for signs during my pregnancy that something wasn't right. I never had morning sickness, I had spotting at 13 weeks... could there have been something to warn us? This second pregnancy is different. I am looking for signs that things are okay. Although my doctor claims that feeling sick does NOT mean your hormones are good, I am getting some satisfaction out of feeling ill from 10 am to 7 pm! I feel like maybe it could be a sign that this pregnancy will turn out perfectly! Hopefully, there will be many more positive signs to come and then I can start to feel a little more confident.

My husband and I have decided to do the March for Babies walk in April in honor of Georgia. If you, or anyone you may know, would be interested in contributing to this cause there is a link in the right sidebar. Any donation would be greatly appreciated... no contribution is too small!

Hugs!

2009 is off to a great start!

2009-01-24T08:22:00.008-05:00

I hope this is a trend and that 2009 will continue with blessings. After three of these:

(Sorry I can't figure out how to rotate the picture. If anyone knows, please share. I would be so greatful!)

... I think I actually believe that we are pregnant. I feel so blessed that it happened so quickly. I am hopeful that we will have a healthy baby this time. When we became pregnant last year, we told everyone right away, but we are definitely going to be more cautious this time around. It's strange to already be thinking about what prenatal tests we should be doing. Once you have a traumatic pregnancy, I think that you loose your your naiveness... you have a full understand of exactly what is at stake. My wish is that as time goes on, and things are progressing smoothly, that we will be able to really settle into this journey. I CAN'T WAIT!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-10T09:55:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year! In with 2009 out with 2008. Our holidays were good this year. I'm not sure if I mentioned here before but my husband and I relocated to the Tampa area from Long Island a little over two years ago. We miss our families but do not miss the aggravation of obligation. That is with the exception of my sister of course... we miss her and her husband terribly!!! We have some friends who are also what I call transplants to this area.They have two little ones 4 years and 6 months. Anyway, they came and spent Christmas day with us. We played guitar hero and just hung out. It was nice. My father and his wife came from South Carolina that weekend. We had a really nice visit with them. Then my mom and grandmother came for New Years. That didn't turn out so nice... my mom and I just don't get along. She is an alcoholic and I just don't have the patience. All in all, our holiday were nice and easier than I thought they were going to be.

Hopefully, we have some good things to look forward to in 2009. We are officially trying to conceive this month. I am hoping that we are lucky like last time and it happens right away. I am on CD 17 of 32-34 day cycle. Keep us in your thoughts. I am also going to try to keep up with this blog a little better. I hope everyones 2009 is fabulous!

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-21T16:35:00.002-05:00

I cannot believe this year in almost over. 2008 has been bittersweet. The year started with news of pregnancy, followed by my office closing and my getting laid off, getting a new job (yay! even with a 60% pay cut), finding out two days later that our precious baby had Triploidy, and finally the loss of our Georgia Louise. While I am so glad to have gotten to know her the tiny bit I did while I was pregnant, this year was terrible. I have such high hopes both for myself and all of you for a prosperous, healthy, and happy 2009. I am hoping that January will bring a positive pregnancy test and that we don't have to wait too long for good news. In the meantime, I wish all of you a joyous holiday with your families! I think we all deserve it this year! God bless you!!!!

Moving along...

2008-11-16T21:05:00.003-05:00

I have just not had the motivation to post lately. No clever things to write about, no hot topics. Things have been... I don't know... just moving along. Nothing exciting really. Today, I got an e-mail from a friend who moved to Pheonix and was pregnant at the same time as I was. She was due November 5th and I was due October 15. The e-mail was the announcement that she had finally had her little one. She was 9.5 lbs of pure cuteness. I am so jealous. It makes me realize how much I really want to be pregnant again. Hopefully, we will ttc starting next month. DH has been hesitant, but we have agreed on January. I am hoping he will change his mind about next month. I can't believe it has been over three months since I last seen litte Georgia. Time just seems to fly by. Well I think I am going to go relax some before starting another work week. Hugs to you all :)

Tagged

2008-11-03T22:39:00.002-05:00

Okay. I have been tagged by multiple people so here goes... 7 strange things about me:

1. I am a songwriter. Okay, not a real songwriter, more like a song-rewriter. I constantly take the tune to a song and change the words based on the situation or the person. I have a gazillion songs I have "rewritten" about my husband.

2. I am also a dancer. Okay, you guessed it, not a trained dancer. More like the dances around the house, creeps across the room, cheerleads (I can incorporate any sport into any cheer)... basically whatever will make my husband laugh.

3. Instead of saying oh shit, or other profanities, I say "Oh Sugar Snap Peas" and sometimes I throw "carrots" in for good measure.

4. I call q-tips ear cleaners.

5. I do everything in the same order every morning before work. If someone throws a wrench in my schedule, I am likely to leave the house without my contacts or maybe even without brushing my teeth.

6. I always have to have an empty e-mail inbox. If it's not empty... then I am stressed. So I basically just move everything into a misc folder and stare at my empty inbox.

7. I love love love celebrity gossip. I am a frequent visitor of People, Perez Hilton, and x17online. I especially love Britney Spears gossip. I think I am her biggest cheerleader.

So now that you all think I am a total freak :) I am going to tag Julie, Dani, Lori, and Meg!

November

2008-11-02T08:41:00.002-05:00

Wow. It is November already. Where has the time gone? In nine short days, it will be three month since our precious Georgia was born. In 13 days, it will be one month PAST my due date. All I can see is wow...

I wanted to thank you guys for all your comments on my Bitter and Judgemental post. I am so glad that I am not the only one and that there are other members in the club!

I was surprised that Halloween brought some sad thoughts to me. As I saw all the little ones all dressed up in their costumes, I couldn't help but think that I had wanted to dress my baby in a costume too. The other day, I was in Walmart with my hubby and they had the cutest little Thanksgiving onesies. It's just not fair. (I know, I feel like it's my theme, but it really is NOT fair)

However, as time goes by, the days do seem to be becoming easier. I even find myself looking forward to being pregnant again. I am really hoping to start ttc again around Christmas time. I do sense, however, that some family members think it's too soon. Fortunately for me, as long as George is on board, it really doesn't matter what they think! I am planning to get an angel Christmas ornament engraved with Georgia's name and date of birth. It is important to me that her memory always be a part of our holidays. Those of you out there who have lost your precious babies, are you planning to do anything similar?

Everyone but me...

2008-10-25T16:51:00.003-04:00

Yes, it's true, I am one of those Myspace people. There are many people on my friend list that come from the same town I graduated from high school in NJ. It seems now, that every time I log onto Myspace, there is another girl changing her name to "Its a boy," "Expecting a girl," or "I'm preggo!" In all honesty, it make me cringe. I know this is not going to sound very nice, but many of these girls are on their 4th kid with 4 different daddies. Never left the small town where they grew up and hang out all day on welfare. They don't take care of themselves and pop out one healthy baby after the other. For some reason, I find it really hard to be happy for these girls. I know I am bitter... I know it. I'm also a little judgemental (okay maybe alot) when it comes to this kinda thing. There are just so many people out there who really want a healthy baby and have followed those prenatal books to a "t". It just doesn't seem fair at all. Of course, we all know there is nothing fair about being the mommy to a deadbaby...

Always Behind

2008-10-17T20:13:00.003-04:00

I had planned to post on Wednesday. October 15th had alot of significance to me. It was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day. It was also my due date. Throughout the day, I thought about coming home and posting. I felt terrible that it had been awhile. I have just been so busy. Between working full time, going to school, and the influx of visitors we have had, I just never seem to get a free moment to update here or anywhere for that matter! Well when I got home on Wednesday, my computer had crashed! Completely. My husband is a network and engineer and there was no helping it! He called IBM and it was a known issue. They came out today and replaced the motherboard. So here I am posting on my fixed up computer...

Georgia's due date was tough. As always, I thought about how completely unfair all of this is. I wanted that baby girl desperately and it just breaks my heart that she is not with us. My mother and father-in-law were visiting from New York this past weekend. My inlaws are greek and very conservative. I wasn't sure if they would want to see the pictures of Georgia. I was so happy when they wanted to see all of her things. The more I share my precious daughter, the better I feel, and the more validated I feel as a mother. Most of our family is out of state and not here when she was born. It is important to me that they know she was really here!

Thank you to everyone who reached out to meon this tough day. It truly means the world to me. I feel terrible I was unable to do the same. I did think of each and every one of you as I remembered my angel and yours. God Bless You All!

Long Week

2008-10-09T20:52:00.002-04:00

I pop on and check blogs daily, but I just have not had the time to write. School and trying to work out have just been kicking my butt...

This week has been a long one. Monday it was 8 weeks since Georgia was born and on Saturday it will be two months. The time has went by so quickly. Next Wednesday would have been my due date, had Georgia not had Triploidy. This week has been really tough on my emotionally. I just can't help but dwell on what we would be doing this last week had Georgia been healthy. We would be eagerly and joyfully anticipating the arrival of our first child! Making sure the car seat is installed properly, hospital bags packed, camera's all charged, and other last minute preparations for bringing our baby home. However, the reality of it all is that I will not be bringing a baby home next week. Instead, I will be missing the sweet baby I lost. I know I have said it a hundred times, but it is just not fair. Sometimes I still cannot believe this has happened to me. Over the past couple of weeks, I thought I had been handling all of this quite well. Well yesterday, when I got to work, I got hit hard. I was in tears. Nothing happened to upset me morning was going good, but then the grief just sank in. Will I ever be normal again or has my normal just changed?

I got a call from the photographer from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep yesterday. She wanted to see if I was interested in coming to a training seminar they were having. They were interested in having a family there to speak. At first I was apprehensive. Then I decided it was the least I could do after all they have given me. Unfortunately, it is during the day on a Tuesday. After just being out for 6 weeks on medical leave, there is just no way I can swing taking the time off from work. I'm a little disappointed about that, but I am sure there will be many more opportunities to share my experience with NILMDTS.

My mother and father in law are flying in from New York this weekend. It has been a while since we have seen them and I am honestly looking forward to their visit. They are really lovely people. I think when you live far away from family, you tend to appreciate them and the time you spend together a little more. I know we miss all of them.

Please keep our family in your thoughts as we near our due date. I know it is going to be so so hard.

Hugs and Peace

Daily Reminders

2008-09-30T21:34:00.002-04:00

Is it just me, or are all of my fellow Mommy's of angels getting daily reminders of their approaching due dates in the mail? It seems like everyday for the past two weeks, I have had little "packages" in the mail. You know.... newborn Huggies, newborn Pampers, bottles etc? I have filled a gift bag in the would-be nursery with all my little reminders. Yesterday, I walk out the front door and guess what is there? A box of Similac formula!?!?!?! I realize that I must have signed up for these things, and I do appreciate that these companies send me such cool little goodies, but good grief is it tough! I was not planning to bottle feed, but I did check and the formula does not expire for a couple of years, so I will add it to my stash. My due date would have been two weeks from tomorrow. I have really been feeling cheated lately. It is just not fair that we are not getting antsy waiting for our sweet babies arrival, instead we are grieving her. It really stinks...

Back to Work

2008-09-25T19:53:00.002-04:00

Tuesday was my first day back to work since giving birth to Georgia. I was fortunate enough to take 6 weeks disability. I didn't want to go back to soon, because I am still relatively new to my job and my coworkers. I found out Georgia had triploidy the same week I started working there. I can't say enough about how good they have been with everything. Especially, since they didn't know I was 19 weeks pregnant when I started! I think it was good for me to get back to work. I have been getting sort of stir crazy the past couple of weeks. I probably would have headed back sooner, if we weren't planning to go to Captiva. Everyone was really sweet and all welcomed me back. A few people, in my immediate group, asked about the baby. I don't know if they realized how much that meant to me. The only bad part about going back is the girl who sits across the wall from me. She is pregnant with a little boy and due in December. Since I have been out, she has gotten a much bigger baby belly. This girl knew of my situation prior to my leaving, and was always so sweet about it. I feel terrible, but I just cannot bear to look at her now. I can hear her talking quietly over the wall about her pregnancy and I know she is trying to be so considerate of my feelings. Today, I bumped into her in the hall and she said she had been meaning to come say hello. I wanted to sink into the floor. I said hello and jetted out of there as fast as I could. The last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable. I just feel terrible about it.

I am sure the fact that AF finally arrived on Tuesday has alot to do with my sensitivity. Figures it had to start 15 minutes before I headed off to my first day back at work. Just my luck :)

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

2008-09-23T20:09:00.002-04:00

I wanted to share the beautiful photos that Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep took of our sweet Georgia. I cannot put into words how much it meant to us to have these photos. Janna, our photographer, was phenomenal and has went above and beyond. Hopefully, she will also be able to photograph our future babies too. The website to go to is www.collages.net. Under Guest, enter the user name (Georgia Louise) and the password which is 23291. There is a guestbook there. Please leave a message that you visited!

Six Weeks

2008-09-22T16:11:00.005-04:00

Six weeks ago today, I gave birth to the most beautiful little girl. The time has gone by so fast, yet sometimes it seems just like yesterday. I also had my six week check up today at the doctor. I have been holding it together really well. The minute I pulled into the parking lot, I just broke down. Last time I was there, I learned that Georgia had grown her wings. There is a girl that works the desk, we will call her D. D and I have become quite friendly through the last 8.5 months. When I walked in today, D wasn't there. Turns out she got married this weekend, and has taken the week off. She did, however, leave me a little gift. The girls had it waiting for me. She had gotten a framed picture. On the picture is Georgia's name. Next to each letter it says a little something. It is the sweetest thing... I will try to post a picture. She attached a note that said she had planned to give it to me regardless of the outcome of my pregnancy. She also said she was glad she wasn't there when I opened it... WATERWORKS! I thank God everyday for people like D.

While waiting in the waiting room, there was a young girl with a tiny baby girl. She was probably 6 weeks old. The baby was in her car seat and her mom was on the phone. For twenty minutes I listened to a conversation she was having about how she told the father of her baby that he was not the father. She is cursing and talking about going out. How mad she is at the father and that she thinks it's funny that he is stressed. Meanwhile, her beautiful little girl just sits there. And me, I am thinking two things: 1. Wow... I can't believe people have these conversations in public places. 2. It is not fair. I will never get over how unfair this whole situation has been. This little girl is sitting in here like having a child is such a joke. I just don't understand it... probably never will.

Anyway, here are some pics of my angel 6 weeks after her birth. We met with the photographer from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. I think she did a beautiful job.

Sunsets and Sand

2008-09-21T16:22:00.004-04:00

We had a really nice time on our little mini-vacation to Captiva. It is just beautiful there and we were really able to spend some quiet uninterrupted time together. We stayed in cute little cottage. I couldn't help but think how it would have been perfect for children. Maybe next time. We were able to have a long chat about trying to conceive again. I explained to him how important it was to me to try again soon. He said he would give it some thought on trying sooner. Either way, we will be ttc in January at the latest. We spent alot of time on the beach, eating, and watching sunsets....

Some Time Away

2008-09-15T22:09:00.002-04:00

George and I started thinking of taking a vacation after Georgia was born when we first found out that she was not going to make it back in May. The only problem was from week to week, we had no idea when she would be born. Every week at my appointment, there was a strong chance her little heart would have stopped. This made any official planning pretty much impossible. We couldn't book flights or hotels or anything. So we just decided we would book last minute. My husband had saved up some time for the birth of our baby, however, since we never brought our angel home, he didn't use it. He used bereavement instead. About two weeks ago, we decided to go away this week and he took the time off. Originally, we were going to book a short cruise, but the weather has been too unpredictable. So, we decided to head to Captiva Island for a few days. I found an adorable bed and breakfast. It should be some nice down time before I head back to work next week. We are leaving in the morning. I am looking at this trip as a good chance to relax and reflect with my husband. I am also hoping to have some discussions about plans to ttc again in December. Wish me luck!

9/11

2008-09-11T09:38:00.002-04:00

Today is 9/11. Seven years ago today our nation was shook to it's core. One month ago today, I was shook to my core. I lost my precious baby girl Georgia to the "fluke" that is Triploidy. Although I had 10 weeks to prepare myself, I wasn't prepared at all. I wasn't prepared for seeing her tiny body that seemingly had all the right parts. Why couldn't it work? No one really knows. I wasn't prepared for the final good bye. It is not in our nature to outlive our children. I definitely wasn't prepared to leave that hospital empty handed.

A blogger friend of mine posted that once she discovered she would be unable to say goodbye, that she went into denial mode. I can so relate to that. George and I made a conscious decision to enjoy the remainder of the pregnancy. To give happy vibes to our precious angel for what short life she had left. It is the only way you can survive. It becomes your new normal. People will tell you are handling this so well; you are so strong. What else can you really do? It's not like you have much choice.

Towards what would be the end of our pregnancy, we started to discuss final arrangements. At this point, we had a really promising ultrasound and truly believed with all of our hearts that our little girl was going full term and would be born alive if only for a few precious moments. And we couldn't be happier about that. My blogger friend also mentioned confusion about having wanted to term early, and then being so devastated that she didn't make it to term. It IS so confusing. I think for me, wanting to induce early had nothing to do with not wanting this baby because of her illness, it was about trying to be a good mother and sparing her any unnecessary pain and suffering. I felt like it was the one thing I could do for her. I think once I knew that wasn't an option, the mother in me wanted to hold my child and see her alive. Obviously, that didn't happen for me and it is just devastating.

I have said it before, and I will probably say it a million more time, I miss my daughter. I grieve the daughter that I will never truly know. I grieve all the experiences we will miss out on together. I grieve the joyous pregnancy I should have had. I grieve for my husband. I don't think he has ever dealt with something like this in his life. Yet, he handles it so gracefully.

Georgia Louise, Mommy and Daddy love you so much! We think about you and talk about you all the time. You are our sweet angel. We are so so sorry that your precious life was cut so short. We miss you terribly!

Why me???

2008-09-10T10:13:00.003-04:00

I have a confession to make. After 4 weeks of being strong... I have cried myself to sleep every night this week. I am just so terribly sad and angry. I should be in my eighth month of pregnancy right now. Eagerly anticipating the arrival of a much wanted baby. Instead, I am wondering when it will be my turn to bring a precious baby into our home. It is just not fair at all. I really do make a conscious effort not to sit around and "why me." However, I have realized it is a valid question and I would so like to know "why me?" I know I will never have an answer for that one.

I think what is making this even tougher on me is that I am not sure DH will be ready to ttc again in a few months. I don't know if I mentioned here before, but this year has been tough on us. I found out I was pregnant in January, found out my office was closing in February, officially unemployed in March, found a job (along with a huge pay cut) and that our precious little angel had Triploidy in May, and lost our darling Georgia in August. Things can change in a blink of an eye that is for sure. Everything I thought I knew is gone. I had hoped to ttc again in November, but DH thinks that 2008 has been a tough year and we should wait to January. I know in my reasonable mind that it is only 2 months. Fact is, I am not feeling very reasonable.

I miss my daughter terribly and all that she would have been. I am angry that I will not be able to bring her home. I am angry I won't have those moments with my daughter late at night when it is just the two of us. I know that a second pregnancy will not replace my first born. I don't want it to. Georgia Louise was our first child... a daughter and nothing can change that. I am devastated by her loss, but it doesn't change that I want to be a mommy to a brother or sister here on earth. I am just really struggling right now.

Support Board

2008-09-08T22:49:00.003-04:00

I just wanted to share that I have been asked to be a co-owner of a board on www.babycenter.com to support women who for medical reason wanted to end their pregnancy early but were unable to due to state law, financial issues, inability to travel, the fear of being judged, as well as other reasons. When faced with a fatal prenatal diagnosis, it is very hard to make the decision to terminate your pregnancy. This is a child that you have wanted and loved from the moment you knew you were pregnant. It is devastating and something that only someone who has been there can understand fully. We are hoping to be a source of support for families who are the dealing with this situation and the obstacles they have faced. If you or someone you know is interested, please let me know.

4 weeks

2008-09-08T22:35:00.002-04:00

It has been four weeks today since Georgia was born. It is weird because sometimes it seems like it has been longer, and sometimes the pain is so real it's like yesterday. Mommy and Daddy miss and LOVE you little Georgia Louise!

Pride

2008-09-05T18:04:00.003-04:00

Okay, so now that I got this blog started, it's time I get busy updating. Each day, there are so many different things that go through my head that I could write about. Then I come and sit down and it is hard to put into words.

The title of this post is Pride. I am so proud of my little girl Georgia. I have been so hesitant over the last 3.5 weeks to post any photographs of her. Not because I don't think she is absolutely gorgeous, because I do, but instead due to worrying about peoples reactions. When we first began letting people know that our little Georgia was not going to make it, we got some interesting responses from people. There were girls at work that asked me if I was sure I wanted to see and hold the baby. Wasn't that going to make it harder for me? What could possibly be harder than the death of your first born child?

Given these responses, you can only imagine the reactions I got when I told them that Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep was going to photograph her. I would liken them to looks of horror. Of course, I did my best to be understand, as I know that death is a hard topic for most people. Especially the death of a baby. I tried to explain that it was important for my husband and I to see her. It was important for us to have photographs. I did not want to regret not having them someday. Finally, I just let it go and made sure not to bring it up again.

To this day, there are many friends and family members that have not seen our little angel. They have not said they don't want to see her, but they have not necessarily asked to see her. I don't know if it is because they are scared to ask, or that they just don't want to see her. I don't ask them if they want to see the pictures, because I don't want to make anyone else uncomfortable and frankly I am waiting for the profressional pics to come back. I want them to see her in the best possible way. But I am uncomfortable. I am uncomfortable because I sometimes feel that because my daughter did not live, that her life may mean less to others. Georgia made an impact on this world in the short time she was here.

A woman who gives birth to her daughter wants to share her... wants to show the world her beautiful baby. The little girl she nurtured and got to know for the months prior to birth. She sees past any imperfections. Regardless of all else, she has Pride in her child.

This has been painful for me. Sharing Georgia's picture on this blog has felt so good and the comments that were left left me speachless. Thank you to each of you. Perhaps, our family and friends who have not reached out are scared. I think when the pictures from NILMDTS come back, I may just send out an announcement. I want to introduce my daughter to everyone.

Angel Pics- Hollywood Fotofix

2008-09-03T11:55:00.000-04:00

When Georgia Louise was born we were blessed to be able to have a photographer from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep come in and photograph our baby. The woman who came, Janna, was simply a godsend. We were also able to get quite a few pictures on our camera. The pictures from NILMDTS usually take 6-8 weeks to come back. I happened to come across Angel Pics which is powered by Hollywood Fotofix. You can upload up to two photos of your angel online and they will retouch them free of charge. Today, I logged in and took a look at the finished product. I think they look fabulous. Little Georgia Louise had some bruising and peeling skin. They did a miraculous job of removing the bruises and peeling skin. I am so happy to have these as we wait for the pics from NILMDTS.

To test or not to test???

2008-09-02T11:21:00.000-04:00

DH and I had an interesting conversation last night. I asked him if he thought that we should have an amnio when we become pregnant again, given that Triploidy is a fluke occurrence. We both know that there is risk of miscarriage whenever you have an amnio. Would we put our child at risk without some indication that there could be a problem? There is other testing that could show some possible signs of an issue. We know we would have the nuchal test, quad screen, and want frequent ultrasounds to make sure the baby is growing on target. With Georgia, although we didn't know it at the time, that was one of the first signs there was an issue. She was behind schedule in growth. I guess the question is, would the lack of signs pointing to a problem be enough to make us feel confident to progress through the pregnancy without knowing for sure?

DH then brought up us having genetic testing. When we originally found out Georgia's diagnosis, the genetic counselor told us that we would be offered genetic testing. She also told us that Triploidy was a fluke occurrence and not something that we genetically passed on to our baby. I kind of looked at it as unnecessary. Our genetics did not cause our babies illness. DH, on the other hand, thinks that we might as well do it if it is offered to us. It can't hurt anything and if there is something wrong it would be good to know. Seems reasonable enough right?

Doing the genetic testing freaks me out. Let me go back in time and give some background information. When I first met George and we were friends, he always said that he didn't want children. That he just didn't think it was for him. Once we began dating and things became more serious, he told me he felt differently. He did want to have children, and he wanted to share that experience with me. I guess in the back of my mind, I have always thought that having them was more "important" to me. That maybe he could be whole in life with or without them. This brings me to the reason why the testing freaks me out. I am so worried that some small abnormality will come up and he will believe that maybe we shouldn't take the chance.

I did speak to him about my concern last night and he assured me that he wants a child as much as I do. I feel more confident now that having a family is equally as important to both of us. It is just so sad that once you lose your baby, your blissfull ignorance is gone. Instead of looking forward to trying to conceive again, you are instead agonizing over all the things you know too well can go wrong. It is just so sad...

The beginning...

2008-09-01T18:58:00.000-04:00

On February 5th, 2008, we were elated to find out that after only one month of trying we were expecting our first child. We were so excited and anxious to share our news, so by the end of the week we had told our immediate family members and close friends. Throughout the next two months, I was amazed at how great I felt. Aside from being incredibly sleepy, I had very few of the typical pregnancy symptoms. I was truly enjoying my pregnancy. When I was 13 weeks along, I had some light spotting. Not overly concerned, I called the doctor just to be sure. He had me come in for an ultrasound and there was my little Baby I on the screen. I was basically told that some women do occasionally spot through pregnancy. The spotting went away a day or so later and any concerns we had were gone.

On May 27th, 2008, at my regular monthly prenatal appointment, my doctor informed me that my quad screen results had come back showing an increased risk, 1:10, of our baby having Trisomy 18. I had no idea what Trisomy 18 was, but the doctor assured me that he saw false results from this test all the time and that he was not concerned. After all, it had been 11 years since he had run across a pregnancy affected by triploidy. As I left his office, I still felt uneasy and rushed home to do some internet research. What I learned was devastating... Trisomy 18 was fatal, often labeled as being incompatible with life. Although we tried to keep a positive outlook, both my husband and I had a bad feeling. Two weeks prior, at our 20 week scan, the baby had been measuring behind and we had been unable to find out the sex. We were reassured that the growth restriction was symmetrical and that not any one body part was lagging behind.

Our doctor was able to get us in to a maternal fetal medicine specialist two days later. We would first meet with a genetic counselor who would explain the results in further detail, give us information on what Trisomy 18 was, and give us our options if our little one did indeed have this terrible condition. Shortly after, the high definition ultrasound began to determine if the baby had any of the typical physical features of Trisomy 18. From the very beginning our little one was curled up tightly. It had been two weeks since the prior ultrasound and the baby had not changed positions at all. The baby was moving and still measuring behind. We also discovered that the amniotic fluid was very low. It was determined that due to the babies size and positioning, the tech and doctors could not gather enough evidence either way. We were offered and consented to an amniocenteses. It was the only way we would know for sure. We requested to receive the FISH results, which would be in by 48 hours. We went home and waited.

On Friday, May 30th, 2008 we received the call that would change our lives forever. Our precious angel was a little girl. She did not have Trisomy 18, instead she had full Triploidy. Babies with triploidy have a complete third set of chromosomes. The odds are 1:30,000. Of those babies 1-2% are born alive. It was quite rare that we had not already miscarriaged. Our options at that point were to induce early, have a D&E, or to wait until our little girl passed on her own. After much discussion, we decided to name our daughter Georgia Louise. Georgia for her father and Louise being my middle name. We also decided that we would induce early. It was important to us to have the opportunity to see our daughter. I was hosting a bridal shower for my sister back home in New Jersey, so we scheduled the induction for when I returned at 23 weeks. However, three days before I was supposed to go in, we found out that our hospital did not do "terminations." To this day, I hate that term. We were not some couple who decided they didn't want a child... we wanted this child desperately! In the state of Florida, you cannot terminate a pregnancy after 24 weeks. We were given the choice to go to a clinic in Atlanta, but decided that was not the way we wanted to bring our daughter into this world. So once again.... we waited and decided to enjoy the pregnancy and this precious time with our daughter.

Each week, we went in for a doctor appointment to check my urine and blood pressure. We also had an ultrasound each week to check Georgia's heart beat. In the beginning, I was anxious each week, but as the weeks wore on, I became confident that her heart would still be beating. At 28 weeks, we went in for another level II ultrasound. We figured now that she was bigger; we would have a better idea of what kind of fetal abnormalities she would have. We also hoped to get a better idea on whether or not she would make it to term. The appointment was wonderful. The ultrasound tech treated our pregnancy just like any other pregnancy and took time to let us watch her. We found out that my fluid level had returned to normal. Our daughter’s brain, heart, and kidneys looked normal. The only thing we saw was that she had growth restriction. Her little head, arms, and legs were 4 weeks behind. Her abdomen was an additional 3-4 weeks behind. We left that day confident that we would go close to full term and meet our daughter alive.

Two weeks later, on August 7th, 2008 at 30.5 weeks gestation, we found out that our little girl Georgia Louise had passed away. We were shocked and devastated. No matter how much preparation you think you have, nothing can prepare you for the loss of your child. Nothing. On August 8th, at 5 pm we checked in labor and delivery to begin the induction process. The plan was to insert cytotec every 6 hours. Through the night and all day Saturday, I had multiple doses of cytotec. I was given stadol to help take edge off of the cramping at night. However, by Saturday night, I had not dilated at all. We also discovered that the pills were not dissolving all of the way. We decided to take a 3 hour break so I could eat and then we were going to try cervidil through the night. In the morning they would remove the cord and start pitocin. Despite some cramping, by Sunday night, I had only dilated about a cm. After much discussion (and another break for dinner), it was decided that we would try the cytotec again. Only this time they would be cut in half and saline would be used to start the process. This process worked and by morning, I was having regular contraction. The dose of stadol was doubled through the night for pain. At about 11:45 on Monday, I had an epidural. I also had an additional dose of stadol, which allowed me to sleep until around 1. The doctor came in and checked me. After all of that, I was still only 1 cm dilated. The doctor was then able to break my water because the bag was bulging. After some more stadol, I drifted off to sleep. At around 3:30, I woke up and was quite distraught at not being able to feel my legs at all. I became panicky. I had been in the hospital 1 hour short of 72 hours. The anesthesiologist came and changed my medication to allow me to regain some feeling in my feet. And again we waited... but not for long.

At about 4:30, I began to have some odd sensations. I felt like it was pressure, but this being my first baby, I had no idea. Besides, it had only been a half hour and I could not have possibly dilated that much. My husband wanted to call the nurse to just check... finally I relented. When she checked me, Georgia's little feet were coming out!

On Monday, August 11th, 2008 at 4:41 pm, Georgia Louise was delivered by her Daddy and the nurse. Her birth was peaceful, just the way we had envisioned it. She weighed 1 lb 1 1/8 oz and was 12.5 inches long. She was born with her eyes open and looked like she was resting. Her hair and eyes were dark like her Daddy's. She had a cleft chin like her Mommy. After she was born, we spent two hours with her. Both her grandmother and her great grandmother were there shortly after. We were also blessed to have a photographer from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep come and photograph her. She was beautiful! We decided to have her cremated and she finally came home to stay on Wednesday, August 27th.

Georgia Louise, in your short life you made such an amazing impression on the hearts of your Mommy and Daddy, your family, friends, and even strangers! We love you and miss you so much!